a painting start to finish

TITLE: With You, I am Warm. Prints available in my etsy shop.

lately i've found that documenting my painting process reminds me that it's never easy. it's been a really helpful thing for me to remember whenever i'm stuck with a piece. because whenever i paint, i always end up at that place where i feel like i can't do it and that i'll never create anything new. but i've learned if i just stop trying and connect with what i'm feeling, i'll push through and uncover the beauty.

if you're a regular reader of this blog, you know i don't start out with a plan, just a feeling. and that's what i try to paint. 

so for this painting, my intention was to express the joy and ease i felt playing in my backyard between the ash trees as a child. i wanted my owl to resemble the carved wood statue i had growing up. and i had this vision of endless blue-green with cadmium red tulips.

 

so that's what i started to paint. but i wasn't happy with the way those red tulips floated in midair.

 i tried painting white stems on them, but that turned into me spreading the white out all across the canvas. and here i was trying to give the owl dark, round eyes like the carved wood statue, but that all resulted in this weird spiked owl.

i knew it was weird as i painted it, but i operate with the philosophy that you have to just go with what's inside of you and trying to get out. so, i kept on painting what i felt.

but i knew i didn't like what i was seeing in that face. and so i covered it up. and this was the part where i felt like i had no idea what i was doing.

so i painted over all the parts i really disliked, leaving what i did like and filling back in the blue-green i so desired to see on canvas.

i didn't know what to do next. whenever i get this feeling, i ask myself, "am i still having fun?" and i realized i was totally set on the end result of having a beautiful painting rather than enjoying my process. 

so i took a break. and when i came back, i got out my stencils and played.

i don't know if you can see the difference here, but to me, there's such a different energy! i gave up my attachment to making something perfect and beautiful and i just started playing with paint! whenever that happens, something beautiful seems to arise.

and that's when i started to find my owl. i got out my pastels and started drawing. i went ahead and just put this big bold red stroke down for no reason. and i found that lovely scalloped blue edge along the top-and i went with it!

i was so busy painting and being totally into it all that i stopped documenting my process. you can tell the eyes and wings are different here too.

once i was in love with my owl, i knew it and the background needed to come together by repeating some of the existing colors and patterns. 

so i added some more origami paper in the sky to match the circle in the belly and more blue stencils to the sky. i also repeated the yellow from the background in a bold collar under her chin and added charcoal lines to mirror those above the owl's eyes.

TITLE: With You, I am Warm. Prints available in my etsy shop.

to keep all of the pastel in place, i apply a coat of spray on fixative. once it's dried, i add my top coat-a vintage decoupage that really brings out the colors and gives the painting a real sense of warmth and beauty.